What kind of sub do I want to be?

What kind of sub do you want to be?

This question has been asked so many times and as usual the answer evades me. I know I want to please, I know I want to serve, I definately know I want to be used. But to what exstent.
Sexually i know I want to try to new things find my new boundaries. But menatally....that's a whole new story. I'm scared I'm using this to hide some weird "no-one-loves-me-mental-thing". I want to be able to express my sexual side without feeling like a freak. I want to experience the pleasure and the pain. I want to me completing simple (or complex) tasks makes someone happy. Knowing they're taking please by using my holes makes me excited....and scared.
So again I ask myself what kind of sub I want to be?