NEW BOY not feeling it

I've been the one to call the new guy the last few times. So I'm not calling, he's going to have to call me. he's like every other guy wants to get laid. my friends say if i'm not into it then to not pursue it and I shouldn't feel like I'm greatful he's intrested. URGH MEN!!!
maybe I should go gay. I like girls well enough but I don't think I'm a lesbian.

i miss DDR

I still miss him. He had the most wonderful hug and lips that demanded to be sucked on. damn him!! I just read all the posts I wrote to/about him.

Sexual Healing...

I've been craving anal sex again! Dammit I hate that feeling.....thinking about someone ramming my ass like they own it. I have such a dirty mind. Damn this PMS!!!

Since I decided to go Vanilla i really hope this new guy is as kinky as he claims. I'm trying to take it slow but I always rush ahead. He sent a text about waking me up by sucking on my tits. I got upset not because of what he said but I ran before I walked. When I got it I was totally wet....I hope sex is good between us....if we even get that far. I'm a spaz.

The 2 J's....I havent talked to them in a while. I deleted Jeremy's number and rarely respond to any of his texts. And Jason's phone is off so I no longer text him.

A new me!

I decided to begood and date like a normal girl. yes i still crave what DDR promised but I know thats not reality. After mending my slutty heart I decided to use and internet site and so far I met a really nice guy.

How I crave to just fuck him and let him have his way with me. But I'm going to resist and actually date him awhile before sex. I think its going to kill me before it kills him. He thinks he's more sexual than i am.....oh he has no idea I like to fuck like there's no tomorrow.

I think when he says he likes me it makes me wet an my nipples hard. He says if I need him to be kinky to satisfy me he will.

plus I'm horny today. I'm not wearing a bra so I'm trying to refrain from touching my tits and masturbating....well I actually plan to masturbate today. I was watching some soft porn...YUMMY!!! I just know fucking myself makes me hornier and I don't want to jump the new guy before we figure out what we are.

Well that left a mark....

I knew the moment he said 'Can we call it a night?' I wouldnt hear from him again. I'm not even going to try to analyze what went wrong, or dwell on not measuring up. I think I'm just done with bdsm, this was painful.
He can continue his search and find the perfect sub. I'm just going to find a way to be happy.

Thursday....DDR

So we're on for Thursday night. I'm so fucking excited but nervous too. I've had this on and off search for a few years now and to meet someone who makes me wet with just one phone call is....exhilarating.
The last personb I met....deep down I knew I shouldnt have met him....I didn't go with my instincts and it scared the shit out of me. I never want that kind of fear and humilation again. The good thing is nothing bad happened but I hate thinking about that time. I was in a bad place.....maybe that's more the problem....not a happy time in my world.
I'm glad I don't have that scared feeling with DDR....well scared but in a differnt way (more will he like me way and vice versa) I guess that's why the email he sent last night seem to comfort me, knowing he has my best interest at heart and plus we're both nervous as hell. FUCK!! LOL
I think people caught me talking to myself because I've practiced conversations and I know it sounds crazy but with me being shy I do this. And guess what happens when I get there? Not a damn thing because all my funny & witty comments go out the door. I'm just your basic shy dork who wants to be dominated.
I wanted to go get a cute nighty but it was raining too hard.
Until tomorrow night.....

Cancer - Craves Sex Alot

I found this on bondage.com
I crave sex alot....no shit!!!
LOL

DDR....What's your b-day?

GEMINI - HARD LOVER
5/21 - 6/21

Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny. Excellent kisser. EXTREMELY adorable. Good personalities. Loves relationships.
Addictive. Loud. 16 years of bad luck if you do not repost


CANCER - CRAVES SEX A LOT
6/22 - 7/22

Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Normally not a fighter, but will if neccessary. Someone loves them right now. 2 years of bad luck if you do not repost.


LIBRA - THE PIMP
9/23 - 10/22

Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. High appeal. Has the last word. Good to find, hard to keep. Fun to be around. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good sense of humor! Thoughtful. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. 5 years of bad luck if you do not repost.


AQUARIUS - THE ONE YOU CANT TOUCH
1/20 - 2/18

Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Attractive. Loud. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found. 7 years of bad luck if you do not repost.


PISCES - THE SEX ADDICT
2/19 - 3/20

EXTREMELY adorable. Intelligent. Loves to joke. Very good sense of humor. Energetic. Predict future. BEST kisser. Always get what they want. Very Attractive. Easy going. RARE find. GOOD when found. Loves being in long relationship. Talkative. Romantic. Caring. NOT one to mess with! 4 years of bad luck if you do not repost.


LEO - THE MANIAC
7/23 - 8/22

Very talkative. Nice to everyone they meet. Their love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and SEXY. Have own unique appeal. Irresistible. Most caring person you'll ever meet! However, not the kind of person you wanna mess with... you might end up crying... 10 years of bad luck if you do not repost.


ARIES - THE PLAYER
3/21 - 4/19

Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners. Very good in bed. Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing. VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE. 9 years of bad luck if you do not repost.


SAGITTARIUS - THE BEST SEXUAL PARTNER
11/22 - 12/21

Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. EXTREMELY SEXY. Predict future. Loves being in long relationships. Has lots of friends. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Also not a fighter, but if they have to, they will also knock the lights out of you if it comes down to it. Cool. Loves to own Geminis in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart. 24 years of bad luck if you do not repost.


TAURUS - THE BAD BOY OR GIRL
4/20 - 5/20

Very high appeal. Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak. Spontaneous. Great at telling Stories. Not a fighter, but will knock your lights out if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to. 12 years of bad luck if you do not repost.


CAPRICORN - THE SEXY ONE
12/22 - 1/19

Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Sweet. Loud. Loyal. Beautiful. Goofy. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. Loves to smile. Beautiful laugh. Patient. Cautious. Bit of naughty. The one and only. 7 Years of bad luck if you do not repost.


SCORPIO - THE VIRGIN
10/23 - 11/21

Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Best kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. ONE OF A KIND. Gorgeous Smile. Not one to mess with. The best sexual partners in the zodiac. Are the most attractive people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if you do not repost.


VIRGO - THE ONE
8/23 - 9/22

Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in the you know where! Not the kind of person you wanna mess with - you might end up crying!

Consumption

He told me he wanted to consume my thoughts, I assumed me thinking about him too much I was already consumed. I was tossing and turning all night and I thought about him and it wasn't until around 2 am the word CONSUMPTION came to my mind. It made sense, the intense feelings... I wanted to be home but I had so much to do today and having the place to myself for an hour was not an option.

During the night I touched my pussy but I didn't masturbate. I played with my tits but i didn't go to the point of making myself wet. The ache woke me up several times and knew I was being consumed and not matter how many times I tell myself its too soon.


No matter what I'm doing he invades my thoughts.....