Lovingly fucked

I'm truly a romantic at heart.
I want the flowers and kisses. I want to hold hands with someone, I want to have Sunday brunch or Friday night dinners.
I want the whole 9 yards.
But I'm rarely in a REAL relationship. I'm always the fuck buddy or the one night stand person. I LOVE sex and all that goes with it but I would like it with someone i'm really into.
Like my bondage phase. I want the person who's my Dom to be my potential husband. I guess that's my ultimate fantasy. To wear a collar and submit to the man I marry. damn that makes me wet just thinking about it.
But I know it won't happen.

just a feeling

I think the lack of sex is making me so horny I've forget my name.
I'm constantly thinking about sucking cock until it I can taste the cum in my mouth. I 'm constantly thinking about getting fucked in the ass but i know its icky. Its not just one man, its a woman or several guys at one time but I know that would never happen. I can see a woman with a strap on fucking me till I shiver.
I see it all but nothing is happening.
URGH!!
I'm so fucking horny!!

Play with me?

This week I might meet someone from collarme.com.
I'm excited and scared. I just hope he's std free.
He's way more adventureous than I am but i know I need to be fucked. I could call Jase or Vanessa but they're too busy for our usual 3some.
I love being with Vanessa she's just so fucking amazing and responsive. Damn I need stop thinking about her, makes me wet.

When it comes to what I want sexually I suffer from ADD. One minute I just want to be with a woman, then I want a 3 some (want my cake and eat it too), then i want a Dom to just fuck me silly.

9.12.06

Last night I masturbated and I thought of a woman in her 40's, she has red hair, nice body, like she goes to the gym daily, great tits and of course shaved. I thought about arriving to her house with just a coat on with nothing on underneath. I would drop to my knees and eat her till she came all over my face.

Once we were done she would take me to her bedroom and put on her strap on and fuck me till I was wimpering.

Dreams about Paris Hilton?

So the woman I was talking to wasnt a woman....at least I don't think so. She hit me up on one of my other SN's with the same lines. I know think its a man and she was going crazy for me to get a cam. Little does she knows I already have one.
oh well.

Had a weird dream the other day, I had a dream I had a 3 some with Paris Hilton, it took place at a club, I guess people could see it but I couldnt see the people. But she wasnt sickly looking, she looked classy yes sexy and that turns me on more than anything, and voice was normal. But anyway, we shared a cock of some random guy, they were both aggressive and dominating (which I LOVE) and she made me eat her pussy (it was shaved, i love a shaved pussy) and swallow his cum. i woke up all nice and wet.

That was the only time I was attracted to Paris Hilton.

What would it be like to date a woman? I've had sex dozens of times but a REAL relationship is risky. Hell I can even phantom a real relationship with a man let alone a woman.

I'm thinking of giving up BDSM!!

For the last few years I've been tryingto break into BDSM and so far I get fakes or if i find a potential he freaks me out too much I give up.
Recently I found this GREAT profile on Collarme.com and contact the guy and he seems like someone I would like to meet (he lives DOWN the street from me). He sends a real email on Saturday, and its not your typical email it was an email that made you think. So around 4 am Sunday morning i FINISH the email. I use word so i could save it through out the day and then I really put feeling into this email, I'm bearing my sole and 5 days later....nothing.
I did learn a lesson from this....never bare my soul and never believe what a man tells me.

Being me

My fetish for women is becoming stronger. I think it started with my crush with Vanessa, whenever I kissed her or made love to her I craved her more and more. I had to stop myself from texting her or calling because I knew I was caring too much.

I know I could never have a girlfriend. My family simply wouldn't understand.

Yes I've had sex with women but I usually faked enjoying going down till Vanessa, she just made me crave it more. Her kisses were hot and passionate. Her breast just right. I never told her when she was around me I became this submissive thing. I wish she was into BDSM I would love to be her slave.

Even thought I haven't been with her all summer I still crave her or I look at a woman and the desires start again. A woman recently im'd me and wanted to chat. She's really cute and I want to date her. I told her I've never had a girlfriend but it made me think....Maybe the reason I haven't dated a man in a while is because I'm so curious about my bi-side.

I already know about the sexual part. I'm talking about DATING!! But how would I do it and no one can find out? And its not fair to the woman in question.

So many questions!!